(TL;DR at the bottom)

Pardon the French that’s about to follow, but I have to express something that I’ve been noticing lately.

I’ve found that people are far too serious at the moment.

It’s like no jokes can be cracked, smiling is like sticking your middle finger up and joy is a myth… For the love of Black Jesus, pull your pants out of your fucking bowel and lighten the fuck up!

I’ve been super stressed out whilst trying to finish my MA, and it’s been hard to find positivity!

Almost daily I hear people arguing for the sake of just being right, even though there’s nothing to be right or wrong about, I see people slagging each other off on LinkedIn, and I see girls calling each other ugly on Instagram – and it just hurts my soul!

It’s all really unnecessary!

I’m real big on supporting others and giving credit when credit is due because I feel amongst all of this negativity, especially with regards to Brexit, the increasing pressure to be superfuckingfantastic and the constant banes of existence it’s important to share some positivity and remind people how truly amazing they are, and how amazing they’re doing.

I have one friend who’s positivity sometimes fluctuates and I feel it’s important to let her know that she is an insanely talented designer. I tell her how much she is smashing it, because it may be the little nugget of positivity to get the wheels going once more that day.

There’s another who I went to school with who is inherently cool – she dyes her hair insane shades of pink, purple and blue and gets away with it at ease, and I let her know that it’s so frickin’ cool, just because, and another who’s killing the marketing world and  just started their own side hustle, which is fantastic and incredibly brave!

A little sincerity goes such a long way, but negativity goes even further and has more of an impact – but not a good one! We’re wired to accept the negativity more than positivity, but I really want to change this.

I am SO fed up of the negativity that I myself have become the most negative, cynical and miserable person I can be just because negativity is like an inescapable toxic gas at the moment.

Obviously, it’s just subjective and that’s just my own opinion, but it’s one that I truly believe in.

I’ll never understand how people can be so uptight, highly strung and take life so seriously.  Obviously, I’m not a moron – I know life isn’t a joke, but it isn’t a life sentence either!

Look, what I’m trying to say is, be nice! Don’t be such a C U Next T.

It’s not cute, it’s not kind and it’s not fun.

(TL;DR, Don’t be such a cunt)

They’re not *just* clothes, it isn’t just work, and it is a big deal.

They’re not *just* clothes, it isn’t just work, and it is a big deal.

Every night before I go to bed, I complete my random skincare routine of washing and brushing my face, moisturising with rosehip oil and adding a dab or two of sudocream.

Then, I stomp over to my wardrobe, pull the doors open in a dramatic fashion and I examine my choices of outfit for the following day, because heaven knows I won’t find anything to wear in the morning.

It’s not that I’ve not got enough clothes, it’s quite the opposite really, I have too many.

Dresses, blouses, blazers, trousers, skirts, shirts and more all stare back at me, waiting to be picked for a day about the town.

Next, I check the weather, I think about what I’ve got going on the following day at work, and I think about how I’m feeling right now, and how I’ll feel in the morning, and then I make my decision.

Polka dots? Stripes? Red? Black? Blue?

They’re not just patterns and colours;

They’re not just shirts and trousers.

They’re a form of self-expression, communication, and sometimes, a form of social mobility.

What you wear, and how you wear it says a lot about you as an individual.

For example,

One day I went to work in check trousers and a striped shirt. I clashed like hell, but I felt amazing, and I looked fantastic, if I do say so myself.

“Cool, but why?”

Well, my friends, as an educated bean, I am aware that historically, it wasn’t common for women to be allowed to wear trousers and that’s only really been accepted within the last 100 years or so.
With this in mind, I still see trousers as a powerful item of clothing for a women. Not only this, but in my opinion the clash was both bold, and brave. My size is no secret, but I don’t let this hold me back when it comes to clothing.

Whilst I won’t subject people to see me wearing a pair of batty riders and crop top, I’m willing to experiment with colours and patterns, and this outfit made me feel fierce and I used this fierceness to try and have an amazing day, and you know what?
It was an amazing day!


What makes me sad about clothes is when people don’t care about what they wear – and it shows.

Whilst you may feel comfortable in your smock top and loose black leggings, it tells another story of the discomfort you feel with regards to clothing and your body. It shows you lack confidence and /or knowledge to pick something that fits you right, suits you and shows the person you want to be. You scuffle along in this outfit thinking that no one will either care, or notice, but, I, and many see this.

And I’m not the only one.

In a study recently published by Universitat Oberta De Catalunya, it was found that “politicians who simply look more competent are more likely to win elections. First impressions also influence legal decision-making.”

I know what you’re thinking…

“I’m not a politician.”

That may be true,

“I’m not a criminal”… Legally, maybe not, but your crimes against fashion are a whole other story.


The excuses

“I’m poor”

Nope, I’m not taking that one.

You don’t have to be rolling in money to dress nicely; I’ve got clothes in my wardrobe from H&M, Tesco, Zara, and Boohoo, but no one would know where they’re from unless I told them.
I recently went into Primark; they’ve got some amazing items at crazy low prices, literally, no excuse!

“It’s hard to find things in my size”

Hmm.. You’re seemingly smaller than my 5ft 11, size 18-22 frame, yet I have a wardrobe, much like my skirt, which bursting at the seams because when I find something I love, and that fits, I want it.


“I don’t have time”

The internet is open 24/7, baby, I picked up a package from a locker at the petrol station at 6am; whilst working nearly full-time, studying for a masters degree, and caring for someone, so quit your bullshit.


If you’ve stuck with me this far, I am almost done, I promise.


When you don’t think people notice that you wear the same pair of trousers and downtrodden shoes a few days of the week, we do notice.
Whilst you may feel good in your clothes, do you feel good about what they say about you?
I doubt it.


oh snap i’m back

oh snap i’m back

Hello homies,

It’s ya girl, Amber.

I frickin’ hate the cliches of new years’ resolutions, but fuck it, I haven’t anything (other than ten tonnes) to lose.

Whatcha gon’ do, gurl?

  • Veganuary

I’ve reported on it for the past four january’s and I’m finally going to give it a go.
I’m going to try and blog and vlog my way through it – HMU on Insta @iAmber_ to follow my journe

  • Try Spotify

I hate Spotify. I don’t like the dark interface; I find it negative. I love Apple Music… Let’s see how it goes.

  • Be kinder

I’m already kind, but when I’m not having the best day, I don’t behave in the best ways.


I think that’s all.

I’ll also continue to go to the gym… But I hate the “new year, new me” crowd, they’re SO ANNOYING



The master of my own destiny or personal hell?

The master of my own destiny or personal hell?

Recently, I began my masters degree in Digital Media Practice – Marketing, Advertising and Branding Design, after being almost certain of the fact that I would not be in any form of education at the age of 23, but here I am!

I undertook this course because I was called when I was in the gym in late July by a poor soul from the UoW, who told me it’s not too late,

And so, I hopped off the bike and I applied for my MA!

I was at the point where I wasn’t getting any of the jobs I wanted, and I knew I couldn’t work in a leisure centre for another moment due to the fact that it would drive me insane, and perhaps a MA would be my key to the city.

Once I applied, I was then offered a job as a marketing co-ordinator which co-insides with the later elements / modules of this course, but at the moment it’s super designy and techy, which i was not expecting at all.

Today we looked at Dreamweaver… Building a website.

Honestly, I left the room first because my brain was FRIED.

If you asked me this time last week if I would be looking at building a website I would have laughed.



More to follow…

Happy birthday to my best friend.

Happy birthday to my best friend.

TODAY, March 1st marks the unofficial birthday of Ava, my best friend.

Ava, being the special little cherub she is, graced us on February 29th 2012, meaning she’s a leap year baby! Last year was her first official birthday, but when greeted ‘Happy first birthday’ she was furious…

“I’m not one, I’m four!” were the sentiments yelled on that day.


Today, Ava is at school, where she gets to sit on the ‘birthday chair’… Sounds kinda funky, where can I get one? And after school, we’ll party until late… like… 7ish?

The official point of this post is to celebrate the special beast that is my niece on her special day, and celebrate why she is legit the best friend you could possibly have.

Why is she the bestest friend one could possibly have?

  • She is one of the only people I know who actually acts their age
  • She comes out with the funniest things ever
  • She’s always a ray of sunshine super early in the morning – Surround yourself with positivity people!
  • You get to see the world through her eyes, and it’s really special
  • She’s got a great appetite… Sometimes people my age don’t want dessert, but I certainly do.
  • She makes really cool things, for example, this weekend just gone, she painted me a canvas with a giraffe on it, and it’s the best thing since sliced bread, and I really enjoy sliced bread, so that’s a bold statement.
  • She’s really clever, and helping her on her learning journey through life is truly amazing! Seeing her get smarter every day is brilliant!
  • She’s got a heart of gold – She loves everyone, and everything!
  • She’s creative!
  • She thinks I’m really cool.

These are just some of the things that make her the bestest friend possible. I bet you, that if you put these qualities against those of your best friend, your friend will be the inferior one in this equation.

I hope Ava reads this in a few short years and realises just how cool, special and loved she is!





Dear Ava,

I’m sure mummy or daddy are reading this to you, or if it’s me, hello,

I hope you have the best birthday ever, and enjoy your sweets, cake, and presents!
I’m really proud of you!


Dressed to impress or depress?

Dressed to impress or depress?

THE Oscars red carpet is almost like a glamorous fashion show, the clothes horses for the major powerhouses in the fashion industry wear designs that are couture,vintage or fresh off the runway.

“You just referred to the actresses as clothes horses” – And that they are.
Many are paid, yes, paid, just to wear those dresses.

I’m pretty sure there are a few people in this list who are wearing what they wore, not because they liked the dress, but because they liked the figure they were offered to wear it.

The Dresses

Hailee Steinfeld had one of my favourite dresses.

It was by Ralph and Russo; a British Haute Couture brand.

The dress is a translucent white/silver tulle type material, although it’s more than likely a lot more fancier than tulle, but I’m not a fashionista, so don’t hate, just appreciate… Appreciate the fact that I can appreciate this!


Instead of just saying “I love the neckline”, I’ll say I love the scalloped edges of the dress, it’s beautiful and it’s not just a normal hem, it shows a completely obvious element of detail that’s often overlooked, and understated.

The dress is embroidered with the most beautiful flowers, using a metallic threat. The fabric, metallic nature of the dress and the flowers affords Hailee an air of ethereal innocence. All in all, a really lovely, light and age appropriate dress.

Way to go!

Jessica Biel

Oh honey.




Colour – Gurl, you went for gold, but you got the fools gold.

I mean… It’s not a terrible dress, but it’s not a great one either, like, where are the rest of the sequins?

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 04.10.04.png
It looks sloppy – It looks like it was the last dress left in TK Maxx because one of the new members of staff accidentally hovered it up and she had to pick it up on the way.

I ain’t even sorry.

Brie Larson in Oscar De La Renta – Uhhhmazing

This dress creates such an amazing silhouette.

The neckline is gorgeous, it is literally on point…On points?

It’s black and velvety. It’s a simple black dress, but it’s really not. It makes you think.

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 04.45.30.png

Emma Stone’s dress reminded me of a long flapper dress.
it was a perfect fit for her, and I love the way that it was the perfect length – Of course, it wouldn’t be made too long, but the way in which the fringe just hits the floor is spot on.

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 04.28.21.png

She’s wearing gold, implying she’s going for the gold. It’s a beautifully warm coloured dress and it suits her skin tone perfectly… Will she take the gold though, or will the only gold she goes home with be her dress?


Dakota Johnson.

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 04.28.53.png

I don’t really like the dress, but I kind of do.
I don’t really like the actress, but the dress fits really well, and the way it moves when she walks is reminiscent of liquid gold – it’s really elegant, well fitting and not revealing, which is rare, because everyone normally whips out whatever body part they want.

Academy Awards 2017 – Live Blog

Academy Awards 2017 – Live Blog


Soz, I’m late, I was busy bitching and moaning about E!’s poor coverage.

Jimmy Kimmel is already doing a better job than Chris Rock last year… At about this point in the show I felt like I was walking on eggshells, and I was sat in my bed on the other side of the world…


Meryl’s getting a standing ovation for receiving her 20th nomination.

Whoops, I spoke too soon, I hear something to do with Trump. img_0095

01.48 – First category is up…. Alicia Vikander is presenting the award for The Best Actor In a Supporting Role…

The nominees are…


Mahershala Ali, Moonlight

Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water

Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea

Dev Patel, Lion

Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals

And the Oscar goes to…
Mahershala Ali for his role in Moonlight.

01.54 – The musical scores playing people in and out are so funky, I want everybody to break out in song and dance.

01.59 – Up next is…


A Man Called Ove

Star Trek Beyond

Suicide Squad

And the Oscar goes to…

Suicide Squad

tbh, Harley Quinn’s hair is something my 4 year old niece does, so she deserves this Oscar too.

Beautiful speech though…




Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Florence Foster Jenkins


La La Land

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – Colleen Atwood… She looks so shocked! I’m not sure why, as the costumes in the film were amazing!

02.04 I want a cheese sandwich.


KATHERINE G. JOHNSON is taking to the stage! She’s 98 years old, and is one of the ladies that the truly inspirational film is based upon. She looks so happy!
It’s really touching to see the audience cry. She’s wearing a beautifully soft blue dress, that reminds me of my favourite Yankee Candle, Sweet Garden Pea, of which is such a beautiful colour for a woman of her age to wear.
It’s bright, yet delicate, and when associated with that candle, so comforting.



Fire at Sea

I Am Not Your Negro

Life, Animated

O.J.: Made in America – Ezra Edleman and Caroline Waterlow 


And the Oscar goes to…

O.J.: Made in America – Ezra Edleman and Caroline Waterlow 

I haven’t seen this documentary, however, I really want to.  Ezra’s speech was a gooden! He dedicated it to “the victims of police violence, p brutality, racially motivated violence…”

02.17 – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

He said some words, and introduced the Moana performer.



The president of the academy just finished her speech, it was beautiful!


It just rained Redvines! (Red Vines, alongside Twizzlers, are my fave American candies) *hint hint*



The award for best sound editing.

The nominees are as follows…



Deepwater Horizon

Hacksaw Ridge

La La Land


And the Oscar goes to…


The sound editor ended his speech by saying “All we need is love”… Although these may be lyrics, they’re the truest words I’ve heard all night… This world lacks love and compassion, people.
I appreciate the difficulty of sound editing. The sound of my videos is absolutely terrible, my lecturers despair.. GOOD THING I DON’T WANT TO MAKE VIDEOS…




Hacksaw Ridge

La La Land

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

And the Oscar goes to…


Kevin O’connell’s speech was totes emosh. He dedicated his speech to his late mother, with a sweet anecdote of how he got his first job, and how he could ever thank his mum. I’m sure she is looking down on you, like you said, and I bet she’s proud as punch!

02.40 – A tribute to those who have won in the past.

02.43 – Nominees for the performance by an actress in a supporting role.


Viola Davis, Fences

Naomie Harris, Moonlight

Nicole Kidman, Lion

Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures

Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Every actress looks so pleased and proud after their clip has played. It’s really beautiful to see that they’re proud, because I’m sure they work really hard in some demanding roles.

And the oscar goes to…

Viola Davis! 


I’m really happy about this; she’s a fantastic actress, he was amazing in Fences, and in my favourite, The Help!

Her speech is such a tearjerker!

“Exhume the stories of the people who dreamed big and never saw those stories to fruition”

“I became an artist, the only profession to celebrate what it means to be a life”

I’m crying! Her speech is so beautiful, she’s so grateful to everyone, and everything. I’m so happy they haven’t played her out, because if they did, it would be a travesty to ruin her mid-flow… Such a beautiful speech!



Land of Mine

A Man Called Ove

The Salesman – Winner, winner, chicken dinner.


Toni Erdmann


Sting is singing… He always sounds v strained like he’s trying to take a dookie.


They’re pranking a Hollywood Tour Bus. Megalolz.

03.10 – Best animated short film.

The nominees are…


Blind Vaysha

Borrowed Time

Pear Cider and Cigarettes



And the Oscar goes to…



The nominees are…


Kubo and the Two Strings


My Life as a Zucchini

The Red Turtle


And the Oscar goes to… Zootopia – I love this film!!!

03.15 – Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson arrive on stage, and share an awkward joke to present the award for the best production design.

The nominees are…



Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Hail, Caesar!

La La Land


And the Oscar goes to… La La Land.

*sidenote* Dakota’s dress is so gorgeous! As the E! team would say, they ‘Love it’. The fabric is beautiful and it has so much fluidity and oozes elegance when she walks!


The hollywood Tour Bus people just went in! Okay, so some of them were kinda trashy, but heyho!

It was so funny! I cried with laughter and awoke a sleeping beast (soz mum) in the process!


Soz for the delay, I went and brushed my teeth again. #freshtildeath

The nominees for Achievement in visual effects are…


Deepwater Horizon

Doctor Strange

The Jungle Book

Kubo and the Two Strings

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

And the Oscar goes to…

The Jungle Book.

I hated this film, by the way, what a load of shadoobie.


Can we take a moment to appreciate Halle Berry’s hair?
It needs its own show or something #todiefor

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 03.36.48.png


The Nominees for best film editing are…



Hacksaw Ridge

Hell or High Water

La La Land


And the Oscar goes to… Hacksaw Ridge


Some random shizz just happened, so I phased out.

The nominees  for the best documentary (short subject) are…



4.1 Miles

Joe’s Violin

Watani: My Homeland

The White Helmets

And the Oscar goes to… The White Helmets


The nominations for best live action short film are…


Ennemis Intérieurs

La Femme et le TGV

Silent Nights



And the Oscar goes to… Sing.


I love Leslie Mann, she’s painfully funny


The nominees for the best cinematography are…



La La Land




And the Oscar goes to… La La Land….

04.07 –

John Legend is performing City of Stars… A bit off key and flat though…
“Amber, could you do it any better?” Well in my head I’m Beyonce, but in reality I’m Nichole337 so..

04.16 –

Samuel L Jackson is here to present the best original score…

The nominees are…



La La Land




And the Oscar goes to… La La Land.

FFS, pissed off.







Scarlett Johanson is on stage in her funkadelic dress to present the award for the best original song…

The nominees are…


“Audition (The Fools Who Dream)” from La La Land

Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

“Can’t Stop The Feeling” from Trolls

Music and Lyric by Justin Timberlake, Max Martin and Karl Johan Schuster

“City Of Stars” from La La Land

Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

“The Empty Chair” from Jim: The James Foley Story

Music and Lyric by J. Ralph and Sting

“How Far I’ll Go” from Moana

Music and Lyric by Lin-Manuel Miranda

And the Oscar goes to… Bloody lalalalalaland #no


Jennifer Aniston, in a glitzy black number, is introducing Sara Bareilles to honor those showbiz superstars who have died in the past year.

04.30 Ben Affleck, and “guest”, aka Matt Damon are here to present the award for The Best Original Screenplay


Hell or High Water

La La Land

The Lobster

Manchester by the Sea

20th Century Women

And the Oscar goes to… Manchester by the Sea.


Amy Adams is presenting for the best adapted screenplay.
The nominees are…




Hidden Figures



And the Oscar goes to… Moonlight.

“Be in love with the process, not the result”


Halle Berry and her hair are presenting the award for the best directing.

The nominees are..



Hacksaw Ridge

La La Land

Manchester by the Sea


And the Oscar goes to…

La La Land… (As I typed this, my teeth ground together…no idea why)

04.48 –

Brie Larson is joined on stage by her fabulous dress to present the award for best actor in a leading role…
The nominees are…


Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea

Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge

Ryan Gosling, La La Land

Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic

Denzel Washington, Fences

And the Oscar goes to… Casey Affleck…

Denzel looked so sad, bless his cotton (prolly silk) socks.

04.55 – Leo D is on the stage to present the award for the best actress in a leading role.

The nominees are…


Isabelle Huppert, Elle

Ruth Negga, Loving

Natalie Portman, Jackie

Emma Stone, La La Land

Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

And the Oscar goes to… Emma Stone.


And at last… It’s time for the final award of the night (lol it’s 5am)


The nominees are….




Hacksaw Ridge

Hell or High Water

Hidden Figures

La La Land


Manchester by the Sea


And the Oscar goes to… La La Land.

Good night world.





That was the most awkward moment of my life, and it’s nothing to do with me!