Top Gear… The live blog

Top Gear… The live blog

For months now, we have been ‘teased’ with snaps of Chris Evans and Matt LeBlanc filming for the new episode of ‘Top Gear’, but will it match up to the goodness that we BBC 2 viewers are used to?
I highly doubt it.

I’ll give you a little bit of history about the upcoming series…

One stunt, filmed by the Cenotaph immediately caused fury and outrage, and rightly so, however, I felt this was done in order to create controversy, generate a buzz and get people talking about a show that was once great and began to dwindle in its last series, with scenes that have been staged becoming more obvious, and  obviously, Jeremy Clarkson throwing a wobbler because he didn’t get his hungry time (We get it, you’re not you when you’re hungry)

I don’t know if it’s fair for me to be writing this because of my pure hatred for Chris Evans will obviously make it a very biased blog, but blogs are opinion based, right?

20.00

Chris has used his best radio voice to introduce the show, I felt like I was listening to a Money Supermarket ad or something…

20.20 (hey, I got a little busy, don’t kill me)

Matt LeBlanc sounds so monotone like he’s bored of this shit already – Don’t blame you fam.

20.21

Matt just gave his first car review… Describing the fabric of the seats as ‘disgusting’ #missyoujeremy

20.23

Wtf is Matt wearing and why?!

 

20.25

I’m hungry, and already bored of this show.

Matt isn’t a presenter, he’s an actor and looks too stiff when reading his autocue, Jesse whateverbergface is IRRITATING, Gordon Ramsay loves himself too much and I can’t take this.

 

GOODBYE.

20.48

I’m back, my mum had beef, so I had beef with her too – it’s the only thing to do.

The TV is back on and I haven’t missed much. (Can someone please tell me if Matt has said ‘How you doin’?’)

 

20.52 – this man looks like he’s about to drop dead

20.58

Mum’s just gone up to bed, she can’t be bothered with this rubbish either. I feel you wendy, I feel you.

20.59

I wish this was presented by Jack Whitehall, he’s actually funny and would be brilliant at this.

 

I made a listicle of songs that summarise Top Gear…

https://storify.com/iamberlovell/12-songs-that-perfectly-summarise-the-new-top-gear

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It’s upgrade time

It’s upgrade time

It’s upgrade time.

Every 24 months most of us upgrade our phones to the newer, bigger and bigger model, and that is what I shall do, except my upgrade is a little smaller than the current model I have.

So

I’ve just finished my second year at Canterbury Christ church university.

I won’t lie, it was kinda challenging, not academically, just morally and creatively, which is hard to admit,coming from someone who is insanely creative – I’m sure you’ve seen what I’ve done with eggs, butter and sugar.

 

My time in Canterbury has come to a premature end because of a wise decision I felt I had to make.

My first year of uni was fab, but the second year was literal torture.

I wasn’t happy at all in my house for the first term, if I wasn’t home in Bournemouth for the weekend, I’d be wishing I was at home, or facetiming my friends and family from the discomfort of my needlessly freezing cold room in the student house I shared (I, a bill payer, wasn’t allowed the central heating on) #guestinmyownhome.

A few short weeks after my 21st birthday I decided I couldn’t actually spend another year in a city I dislike, with people who aren’t so great either therefore, I began my research and found that The University of Winchester offer the same (better) course that I am doing and I began to create my application in secrecy, only confiding in my family and about 4 friends from home because there’s nothing more shameful than being rejected by a university, but thankfully, they accepted me for an interview and I was Amber, and by being Amber I got my unconditional offer to re-do my second year of university.

Undeniably some would say “haha you have to do another year of university”, but that doesn’t phase me – I’m already a year behind from changing sixth form, so what’s another year?
I see it as another year to do better, another year to make more contacts, and another year to decide what journalistic journey I want to travel on.

The odd thing is, I still actually haven’t told any of the people I’m living with 1) that I’m leaving today and should be arriving within the next hour or so

And 2) I won’t be returning to the area – I’m not bothered by either.

 

Not even sorry.

I’ll miss a select few, such as,  Shaniki, BP, Boil & Miranda, #shoutout, and Lily and I’m sure I’ll keep in contact with these cool kids because they’re so nice and kind – they’re real people, you feels me?

It’s okay Amber, I feel you.

My message I’d like to give to some people in Canterbury is – Don’t be banker, even if you don’t like someone, just be the grown up you claim to be, because if you act like a childish cnut, it will only emphasise and show that you are an actual cnut.
All of your actions have consequences and you have no idea of how it’s going to impact someone and their life.
It’s a good thing I’m Amber, because if I wasn’t, God knows what would have happened…

 

You’ll be pleased to know I’ll be blogging about my adventures and my very very wild lifestyle, just not from the grim county of Kent.

 

I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU

LOVELL OUT *DROPS MIC*