BREAKING: Police fill platform at Bournemouth station following reports of a weapon on board a train.

BREAKING: Police fill platform at Bournemouth station following reports of a weapon on board a train.

Armed police vehicles and officers were awaiting a Cross Country train at Bournemouth station on Wednesday evening following report from a concerned member of the public regarding a large weapon on board.
Police received a report from an alarmed member of the public at approximately 8pm who was exceedingly concerned about a weapon aboard the Cross Country line.

The reported weapon was a black, samurai sword.

Following a long wait to arrive on the platform, the police stormed the carriage before allowing any passengers off to investigate the offending item, of which was later discovered to be an umbrella specifically designed to look like a samurai sword.

A passenger aboard of whom wishes to remain anonymous said : “Although an attack was unlikely, you can’t ever be too safe, especially with regards to what is going on in the world right now… it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

A member of the British Transport Police confirmed that contacting the police regarding the police was the right thing to do, and even thanked the person who reported the item.

Should you see a suspicious item aboard a train, contact emergency services immediately.


The day I became a man

The day I became a man

For many men, the day they became men was a milestone to be celebrated.

In Judaism they have a Bar Mitzvah, in ancient Rome, new men assumed the ‘toga virilis'(Toga of Manhood’), and in my life, you just get called ‘sir’ when you wish to purchase a doll for your little friend.

My day started like any other, up at 5.45 to watch Spongebob, play with my dolls and chill out, when I decided just one doll was not enough.

I waited patiently for my mum to arrive home from work so she could chauffer me to my fave toy store, as my Cosy Coupe is no longer road worthy (I haven’t actually been able to fit in it for the past 15 years) but that’s beside the point.

When I arrived at Smyths, I perused the aisles, eyeing up all the bikes, swings and other play things until I found the aisle I was looking for – the doll aisle.

I decided I wanted a Tiny Tears, cos she has hair, and she cries, and wets herself all at the same time!

Once I had selected my doll, I proceeded to the check out…

I decided to queue behind one lady purchasing two items, which took about five minutes because the cashier decided it was an appropriate time to spend approximately 18 million years discussing her personal life over some Hot Wheels, 

So I went over to a man,  I believe he was named Greg.

I said hello, he did too.

I smiled and he said: “Would you like a bag?”

I politely declined.

“Would you like a free catalogue today, sir?”




I am a lady, I protested, whilst still quite clearly offended that I had been called sir.
You find a man who looks like and I’ll eat my hat



 Well it’s a good thing I don’t actually have a hat.

First of all,

 I most certainly do not look like a man today – I was wearing make up for the first time in like 79 years, my nails were glittery and purple, and my legs were clad in tights, and semi-hidden by a skirt, so with this in mind, this rude check out man had the audacity to refer to me as ‘sir’, and then deny it, even though it was clearly audible, and my mother, of whom wasn’t even stood next to me, but near me heard it.

I didn’t even get a sorry!

The worst part about being called ‘sir’ is that just two short hours before, I had waxed my moustache .


So, the likelihood of me visiting that particular toy store again is slim to none, maybe the day I become a real life sir I will, but for the time being, I think I’ll continue to be a Toys R Us Kid…

Guess who’s back, back again?

Guess who’s back, back again?

After many months of silence, you can now rejoice at my return to the world of the wide web.

“Amber, where ya been?! What you been doin’ gurl?!”

I’ve been relaxin’, eatin,  having a good time


Jokes, I’ve been working, I’ve been working out and that is about it for my summer.

Over the summer I developed a few bad habits, like exercising and going spinning – I know right, absolutely MENTAL!

I also excelled at my favourite past-time – spending ridiculous amounts of money –

I bought a car ( I don’t even have a driving licence) and a diamond ring, all before noon one Saturday, both of which cost me several thousand pounds… #TreatYoSelf


Within the next few weeks I’m due to continue with my journalism degree at Winchester.

I’m not too sure how I feel about this – I think I’ll probably be able to express more about it once I receive my timetable.

However, I do know that I definitely feel more positive about starting university this year, than I did when I had to attend university in Canterbury for the last academic year.

Everything about Winchester just seems so much nicer.


I must dash, glitter glue awaits me.