Academy Awards 2017 – Live Blog

Academy Awards 2017 – Live Blog

01.43AM

Soz, I’m late, I was busy bitching and moaning about E!’s poor coverage.

Jimmy Kimmel is already doing a better job than Chris Rock last year… At about this point in the show I felt like I was walking on eggshells, and I was sat in my bed on the other side of the world…

01.45

Meryl’s getting a standing ovation for receiving her 20th nomination.

Whoops, I spoke too soon, I hear something to do with Trump. img_0095

01.48 – First category is up…. Alicia Vikander is presenting the award for The Best Actor In a Supporting Role…

The nominees are…

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Mahershala Ali, Moonlight

Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water

Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea

Dev Patel, Lion

Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals

And the Oscar goes to…
Mahershala Ali for his role in Moonlight.

01.54 – The musical scores playing people in and out are so funky, I want everybody to break out in song and dance.

01.59 – Up next is…

MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING

A Man Called Ove

Star Trek Beyond

Suicide Squad

And the Oscar goes to…

Suicide Squad

tbh, Harley Quinn’s hair is something my 4 year old niece does, so she deserves this Oscar too.

Beautiful speech though…

02.02

COSTUME DESIGN

Allied

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Florence Foster Jenkins

Jackie

La La Land

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – Colleen Atwood… She looks so shocked! I’m not sure why, as the costumes in the film were amazing!

02.04 I want a cheese sandwich.

02.10 – THE HIDDEN FIGURES LADIES

KATHERINE G. JOHNSON is taking to the stage! She’s 98 years old, and is one of the ladies that the truly inspirational film is based upon. She looks so happy!
It’s really touching to see the audience cry. She’s wearing a beautifully soft blue dress, that reminds me of my favourite Yankee Candle, Sweet Garden Pea, of which is such a beautiful colour for a woman of her age to wear.
It’s bright, yet delicate, and when associated with that candle, so comforting.

02.12

DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE)

Fire at Sea

I Am Not Your Negro

Life, Animated

O.J.: Made in America – Ezra Edleman and Caroline Waterlow 

13th

And the Oscar goes to…

O.J.: Made in America – Ezra Edleman and Caroline Waterlow 

I haven’t seen this documentary, however, I really want to.  Ezra’s speech was a gooden! He dedicated it to “the victims of police violence, p brutality, racially motivated violence…”

02.17 – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

He said some words, and introduced the Moana performer.

Exotic.

02.27 

The president of the academy just finished her speech, it was beautiful!

img_0100

02.28
It just rained Redvines! (Red Vines, alongside Twizzlers, are my fave American candies) *hint hint*

img_0103

02.30

The award for best sound editing.

The nominees are as follows…

SOUND EDITING

Arrival

Deepwater Horizon

Hacksaw Ridge

La La Land

Sully

And the Oscar goes to…

Arrival

The sound editor ended his speech by saying “All we need is love”… Although these may be lyrics, they’re the truest words I’ve heard all night… This world lacks love and compassion, people.
I appreciate the difficulty of sound editing. The sound of my videos is absolutely terrible, my lecturers despair.. GOOD THING I DON’T WANT TO MAKE VIDEOS…

02.33

SOUND MIXING

Arrival

Hacksaw Ridge

La La Land

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

And the Oscar goes to…

HACKSAW RIDGE

Kevin O’connell’s speech was totes emosh. He dedicated his speech to his late mother, with a sweet anecdote of how he got his first job, and how he could ever thank his mum. I’m sure she is looking down on you, like you said, and I bet she’s proud as punch!

02.40 – A tribute to those who have won in the past.

02.43 – Nominees for the performance by an actress in a supporting role.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Viola Davis, Fences

Naomie Harris, Moonlight

Nicole Kidman, Lion

Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures

Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Every actress looks so pleased and proud after their clip has played. It’s really beautiful to see that they’re proud, because I’m sure they work really hard in some demanding roles.

And the oscar goes to…

Viola Davis! 

vii

I’m really happy about this; she’s a fantastic actress, he was amazing in Fences, and in my favourite, The Help!

Her speech is such a tearjerker!

“Exhume the stories of the people who dreamed big and never saw those stories to fruition”

“I became an artist, the only profession to celebrate what it means to be a life”

I’m crying! Her speech is so beautiful, she’s so grateful to everyone, and everything. I’m so happy they haven’t played her out, because if they did, it would be a travesty to ruin her mid-flow… Such a beautiful speech!

03.01

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Land of Mine

A Man Called Ove

The Salesman – Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Tanna

Toni Erdmann

03.03

Sting is singing… He always sounds v strained like he’s trying to take a dookie.

03.09

They’re pranking a Hollywood Tour Bus. Megalolz.

03.10 – Best animated short film.

The nominees are…

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)

Blind Vaysha

Borrowed Time

Pear Cider and Cigarettes

Pearl

Piper

And the Oscar goes to…

Piper.

03.14

The nominees are…

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Kubo and the Two Strings

Moana

My Life as a Zucchini

The Red Turtle

Zootopia

And the Oscar goes to… Zootopia – I love this film!!!

03.15 – Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson arrive on stage, and share an awkward joke to present the award for the best production design.

The nominees are…

PRODUCTION DESIGN

Arrival

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Hail, Caesar!

La La Land

Passengers

And the Oscar goes to… La La Land.

*sidenote* Dakota’s dress is so gorgeous! As the E! team would say, they ‘Love it’. The fabric is beautiful and it has so much fluidity and oozes elegance when she walks!

02.25 

Omg!
The hollywood Tour Bus people just went in! Okay, so some of them were kinda trashy, but heyho!

It was so funny! I cried with laughter and awoke a sleeping beast (soz mum) in the process!

03.32 

Soz for the delay, I went and brushed my teeth again. #freshtildeath

The nominees for Achievement in visual effects are…

VISUAL EFFECTS

Deepwater Horizon

Doctor Strange

The Jungle Book

Kubo and the Two Strings

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

And the Oscar goes to…

The Jungle Book.

I hated this film, by the way, what a load of shadoobie.

03.36

Can we take a moment to appreciate Halle Berry’s hair?
It needs its own show or something #todiefor

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 03.36.48.png

03.38

The Nominees for best film editing are…

FILM EDITING

Arrival

Hacksaw Ridge

Hell or High Water

La La Land

Moonlight

And the Oscar goes to… Hacksaw Ridge

03.47

Some random shizz just happened, so I phased out.

The nominees  for the best documentary (short subject) are…

DOCUMENTARY (SHORT SUBJECT)

Extremis

4.1 Miles

Joe’s Violin

Watani: My Homeland

The White Helmets

And the Oscar goes to… The White Helmets

03.51

The nominations for best live action short film are…

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)

Ennemis Intérieurs

La Femme et le TGV

Silent Nights

Sing

Timecode

And the Oscar goes to… Sing.

03.55

I love Leslie Mann, she’s painfully funny

04.02

The nominees for the best cinematography are…

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Arrival

La La Land

Lion

Moonlight

Silence

And the Oscar goes to… La La Land….

04.07 –

John Legend is performing City of Stars… A bit off key and flat though…
“Amber, could you do it any better?” Well in my head I’m Beyonce, but in reality I’m Nichole337 so..

04.16 –

Samuel L Jackson is here to present the best original score…

The nominees are…

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE)

Jackie

La La Land

Lion

Moonlight

Passengers

And the Oscar goes to… La La Land.

FFS, pissed off.

I

HATE

LA LA LAND.

ALL THE MUSIC SOUNDS LIKE RIP OFFS OF OLD CUBAN MUSIC MAN

NOTHING NEW HERE GUYZZZZZZZZ

04.18

Scarlett Johanson is on stage in her funkadelic dress to present the award for the best original song…

The nominees are…

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG)

“Audition (The Fools Who Dream)” from La La Land

Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

“Can’t Stop The Feeling” from Trolls

Music and Lyric by Justin Timberlake, Max Martin and Karl Johan Schuster

“City Of Stars” from La La Land

Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

“The Empty Chair” from Jim: The James Foley Story

Music and Lyric by J. Ralph and Sting

“How Far I’ll Go” from Moana

Music and Lyric by Lin-Manuel Miranda

And the Oscar goes to… Bloody lalalalalaland #no

04.22

Jennifer Aniston, in a glitzy black number, is introducing Sara Bareilles to honor those showbiz superstars who have died in the past year.

04.30 Ben Affleck, and “guest”, aka Matt Damon are here to present the award for The Best Original Screenplay

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)

Hell or High Water

La La Land

The Lobster

Manchester by the Sea

20th Century Women

And the Oscar goes to… Manchester by the Sea.

04.34

Amy Adams is presenting for the best adapted screenplay.
The nominees are…

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)

Arrival

Fences

Hidden Figures

Lion

Moonlight

And the Oscar goes to… Moonlight.

“Be in love with the process, not the result”

04.43

Halle Berry and her hair are presenting the award for the best directing.

The nominees are..

DIRECTING

Arrival

Hacksaw Ridge

La La Land

Manchester by the Sea

Moonlight

And the Oscar goes to…

La La Land… (As I typed this, my teeth ground together…no idea why)

04.48 –

Brie Larson is joined on stage by her fabulous dress to present the award for best actor in a leading role…
The nominees are…

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea

Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge

Ryan Gosling, La La Land

Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic

Denzel Washington, Fences

And the Oscar goes to… Casey Affleck…

Denzel looked so sad, bless his cotton (prolly silk) socks.

04.55 – Leo D is on the stage to present the award for the best actress in a leading role.

The nominees are…

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Isabelle Huppert, Elle

Ruth Negga, Loving

Natalie Portman, Jackie

Emma Stone, La La Land

Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

And the Oscar goes to… Emma Stone.

meh.

And at last… It’s time for the final award of the night (lol it’s 5am)

5.04

The nominees are….

BEST PICTURE

Arrival

Fences

Hacksaw Ridge

Hell or High Water

Hidden Figures

La La Land

Lion

Manchester by the Sea

Moonlight

And the Oscar goes to… La La Land.

Good night world.

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

THEY READ THE WRONG CARD

THE BEST PICTURE IS MOONLIGHT!

That was the most awkward moment of my life, and it’s nothing to do with me!

Top Gear… The live blog

Top Gear… The live blog

For months now, we have been ‘teased’ with snaps of Chris Evans and Matt LeBlanc filming for the new episode of ‘Top Gear’, but will it match up to the goodness that we BBC 2 viewers are used to?
I highly doubt it.

I’ll give you a little bit of history about the upcoming series…

One stunt, filmed by the Cenotaph immediately caused fury and outrage, and rightly so, however, I felt this was done in order to create controversy, generate a buzz and get people talking about a show that was once great and began to dwindle in its last series, with scenes that have been staged becoming more obvious, and  obviously, Jeremy Clarkson throwing a wobbler because he didn’t get his hungry time (We get it, you’re not you when you’re hungry)

I don’t know if it’s fair for me to be writing this because of my pure hatred for Chris Evans will obviously make it a very biased blog, but blogs are opinion based, right?

20.00

Chris has used his best radio voice to introduce the show, I felt like I was listening to a Money Supermarket ad or something…

20.20 (hey, I got a little busy, don’t kill me)

Matt LeBlanc sounds so monotone like he’s bored of this shit already – Don’t blame you fam.

20.21

Matt just gave his first car review… Describing the fabric of the seats as ‘disgusting’ #missyoujeremy

20.23

Wtf is Matt wearing and why?!

 

20.25

I’m hungry, and already bored of this show.

Matt isn’t a presenter, he’s an actor and looks too stiff when reading his autocue, Jesse whateverbergface is IRRITATING, Gordon Ramsay loves himself too much and I can’t take this.

 

GOODBYE.

20.48

I’m back, my mum had beef, so I had beef with her too – it’s the only thing to do.

The TV is back on and I haven’t missed much. (Can someone please tell me if Matt has said ‘How you doin’?’)

 

20.52 – this man looks like he’s about to drop dead

20.58

Mum’s just gone up to bed, she can’t be bothered with this rubbish either. I feel you wendy, I feel you.

20.59

I wish this was presented by Jack Whitehall, he’s actually funny and would be brilliant at this.

 

I made a listicle of songs that summarise Top Gear…

https://storify.com/iamberlovell/12-songs-that-perfectly-summarise-the-new-top-gear